Top Ten Superheroes withOUT Superpowers!

Ah, to be a Superhero- if only you came from another planet, or had a kickass mutation, or could get blasted with a good ole dose of radiation! Then you could get Superpowers and be beating up bad guys all day long!

What’s that you say? You don’t need powers to be a Superhero? That’s right! Before you jump in that nuclear reactor core, answer these questions: Are you a technological genius? Are you richer than Bill Gates? Do you have a spare lair to put various suits of armor in? Then you too could join the ranks of Superheroes withOUT Superpowers! Here’s my Top Ten!

10. Bluntman and Chronic
Kevin Smith writes my fantasy come true: stoners win the lottery and become superheroes! Sign me up! With no powers to speak of and a super agenda to save New Jersey, Bluntman and Chronic start my list off- P.S Kevin, if you need another addition to your team, I'm available!

9. The Spirit
Somewhere between pulp crime stories and superhero comics is The Spirit, fighting crime in a suit and mask. Will Eisner’s creative storytelling spanned multiple genres and his characters inspired many comic book creators including Frank Miller. The Spirit has been called "the only real middle-class crimefighter" - probably true, since most of the people on my list are billionaires!

8. Hawkeye
Yeah, he’s wearing a flamboyant purple costume, wanna fight about it? I wouldn’t; I tend to avoid situations that end with bows and arrows! So why is Hawkeye so low? This usually non-powered hero cheated for a time when he used Pym Particles to become Goliath. Why would you want to be more like Henry Pym? That’s a question even I can’t answer.

7. The Punisher
Marvel’s skull wearing weapons expert comes in at lucky number 7-not that he doesn’t kick serious ass, but that he is a far cry from the traditional sense of “Superhero.” From his conception, The Punisher was meant to be an “anti-hero”- he tortures, he kidnaps, he kills- all with no real remorse. Since he has usually been on the side of good, I say it counts!

6. Nite Owl II
No one from the Minute Men had real superpowers except of course for Dr. Manhattan- but were they all “superheroes“? While characters like Rorschach and The Comedian walked a villainous line, Nite Owl II stayed true to the concept of what a Superhero was supposed to be, complete with cave like dwelling, suits for different environments and animal themed transportation. He would have been higher on the list if he had spent more time crime fighting and less time being…well, a huge nerd.

5. Green Arrow
Don’t let the fact that he looks like a Renaissance Fair worker fool you- Ollie is quite the inventor, filling his quiver with everything from exploding arrows to ones with boxing gloves on them. He gets points for being part of groundbreaking story lines, like his sidekick being addicted to drugs (his name was SPEEDY after all!)

4. Blue Beetle (Ted Kord)
Who wouldn’t want to descend from their bug shaped craft via steel cable, light gun blinding enemies before you launch into a flying kick and knock them out? That’s Blue Beetle’s MO, relying only on his genius and athleticism to defeat his foes while providing the reader with some comedic relief!

3. The Phantom
The Phantom set a lot of standards for Superheroes. From a modest beginning as a comic strip, he started both the skin tight spandex trend as well as the pupil-less eye mask style. Not to mention the concept of new heroes taking over where others have left off- there have been at least 20 generations of Phantoms who have donned the costume and sworn their lives to “the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, and injustice, in all their forms.”

2. Iron Man
Oh Tony Stark, you sly dog! Who else can get away with being an wealthy, arrogant, boozehound weapons manufacturer yet still be loved by billions? It’s gotta be the suit- of armor, that is, and the best damn one in comic book history. Iron Man is constantly up to date on the newest technology (most of the time he’s inventing it!) and rich enough to afford anything he wants, putting him just shy of the number one spot.

1. Batman
Who else? Batman is the poster boy for the “powerless” superhero- he may have a dark side and some questionable methods, but uh…it’s fucking BATMAN. ‘Nuff said.